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Thursday, October 31, 2013

Truths.....

Why yes, I am still alive!  I know I haven't posted much, lately.  Today I thought I would do a list of some truths, about me. 

1.  I have cellulite, stretch marks and lots of loose skin.  But Lori, we don't see it in your pics.  So I will tell you just where it is.  It is in my thighs, boobs and right below my bikini line.  This is why you don't see it.  No way in HELL, will I EVER where short shorts, my progress pics are taken in workout pants and a sports bra and I am not dipping down that low, to show you some loose skin above my cha-cha!  BUT....I still want to always be real and let you know, it is there!

2.  I do not suck my gut in when I take progress pics.  WHY???  Because I would be lying to myself.  I NEED to see what I REALLY look like.  This stems from my issues with body dysmorphia.  I don't want to "make" myself look "thinner" than I am. 

3.  I have wrinkles.  If you don't see them in my pics, don't worry, they are there.  I don't try to hide them, but the ole iPhone does. Oh and I have frown lines and smile lines too.  So this is why I try and smile BIG, it is way more flattering than a frown!

4.  I cannot and will not follow someone that is obviously struggling with an eating disorder or body image disorder.  I was that girl and I cannot go back.   Seeing some girls that are barely 20, posting about how they have 8% body fat, makes me sad AND mad.  THIS...is why little girls start to hate their bodies at such a young age.  That is NOT attainable, unless you take drastic measures.  I am 41, I have hips and thighs, that will ALWAYS be there.  I don't want to be all muscle.  I want to eat and be happy.  I cannot let what I look like consume my life.  NO THANKS!

5.  I do not eat clean 100% of the time.  Nor will I ever.  For some, it's doable, not this wine loving, beer drinking, pizza eating girl.  NO THANKS!  Life is too short.  If I want it, I will eat it.  There was a point in my life where I was OBSESSED with every freaking thing that went in my mouth and I was one miserable bitch.  I was out of control.  I am so passed that and have never been happier.

6.  I am not a workout junkie.  If it takes more than 20-35 minutes, I don't do it.  It doesn't fit my lifestyle.  I would much rather snuggle with my babies and have some flab, than be ultra fit and spend hours trying to maintain it.  But this is MY choice.  I choose to workout at home, in my bedroom while my kids are there with me, on the computer, playing math games.  It works for us. 

7.  I have never worn spanx...and here is why. I don't want to pretend I am all flat and toned.  I would be lying to ME.  This is also from my issues way back when I was bulimic and obsessed with image.  If I have a food baby, at a wedding reception, in my tight dress, so be it.  I have to keep it real, for ME.  I don't want to look in the mirror and go, "damn I am looking thin today" only to wake up the next day and go, "ummm....wtf happened, I did not look this big last night.  See I am weird AND have issues.  BUT....I am a work in progress.  And honest, maybe too honest...lol!

8.  I worry too much about what people think about my pics on IG, and it has gotten at times, unhealthy.  I worry that people are saying, "she has edited the hell out of that pic, "wow she looks way bigger today", "she is totally angling that camera to make her look thinner than she is".  Yep, all those thoughts have gone through my head and they shouldn't.  I shouldn't care what others think. BUT....I am human.  It shows me that I still have some work to do, on my self image.

9.  My weight loss does not define me.  It IS.... a special part of me, and has played a MAJOR role in my life.  But..... if I died tomorrow, the one thing I would want people to know about me is that I have a good heart.  THAT...is what defines me.  A heart that loves hard, and fights for what is right.  A heart that is so full of love for her babies, her husband, family and friends.  A heart that only wants to see good things happen to people.  A heart that wishes she could help those in need.  A heart that is simple, but real.  It's hard to get that across in a photo of me in a bikini, I get that.  It's hard not to judge when you see superficial things.  I am guilty of it too.

10. Lastly, I worry that my kids will someday struggle with their weight or body image and it scares the living daylights out of me.  I don't want them to ever feel what I, and so many others, have felt.  It's a pain that is so deep and one that is hard to ever truly get over.  At the same time, I pray every day that they will always stick up for the kids being bullied and all the "underdogs".  Even if it means, they will get crap from others, for it.  Too many kids today, don't have anyone to turn to, I want my kids to be that ONE kid, they can turn to, for acceptance.


So there you have it, a little more about me....

                                                                            XO,
                                                                            Lori

27 comments:

  1. I swear I was just thinking of you this morning! I haven't blogged in two months (shame on me!) But I've been in a slump and need to get my ass back in gear. I follow you because you do keep it real, period. Happy to read your post!

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    1. Thank you so much!!! I am with you on slumps....sometimes, we just need to step away for a bit. :) xoxo

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  2. I think you are awesome! You are such an inspiration to so many people!! And please come to STL when I can actually meet up with you!!

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  3. Thank you so much for posting today. I was stalking your page yesterday, reading old blogs in hopes of trying to gain some motivation. I am so glad to know that you work out at home, showing you don't need to go to the gym to stay fit. You look amazing!!!

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  4. I have followed your IG for a while now and I love it! I love your honesty. You have helped me in myself image more than you know. I haven't had the nerve to post on your IG pics yet ( I have issues :)) but i will one day..Thanks for being so brave and honest!

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    1. Thank you, so much!! I completely understand, not wanting to comment on IG. Hopefully someday, you can and will! :) xoxo

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  5. Thank you thank thank you, as another woman in her forties who loves wine, pizza, and strawberries dipped in chocolate I want to be active and healthy but want to live life and enjoy those things in moderation. I always look forward to your posts.

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    1. Thank you, sweet Linda!! Life is just too short not to enjoy the things we like! It can all be done, just in moderation! Cheers to you, my fellow wine lover! xoxo

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  6. #3...instant smile!!! Things this 28 year old worries about, WRINKLES...but only the ones that come from bad habits, not good things like smiling :)

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    1. Oh girl, you have years until you have to worry about wrinkles! xoxo

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  7. You're amazing Lori! You are genuine, and you have a beautiful heart. xoxo

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  8. You're one of the most honest bloggers/IGers out there!

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  9. Honesty trumps fakeness! I love that you put it out there and you're not fake. It helps the rest of us that our struggling with our bodies.
    But truth be told. I love my spanks. LOL...it holds it all in otherwise I have a saggy bootie because I need jeans that fit the loose skin on my gut vs my legs.

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  10. You are so honest and kind Lori! Thank you for always keeping it real.

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  11. Oh Lori, I loved your keeping it real post! You have lots to be proud of.
    P.S. I have plenty of wrinkles too : )

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  12. Hi Lori, I came across your blog today and I have been reading through some of them for the last 2 hours lol and I wanted to say congrats on your weight loss and you are beautiful! I must say I 100% relate to everything you have said and how you feel about your body etc. I am a "recovering" big girl and I say recovering, because I do not think I will ever see myself in a mirror how I really look. 10 years ago I weighed 353 lbs and a size 28. I am now 35 (almost 36) and 5'10' and weigh 188 and a size 10 on a good day..lol. Unfortunately I had way more loose skin, just from my whole life being big and going up and down on the scales like a roller coaster. I have had surgery to remove excess skin in my arms and stomach...and believe it or not I can still find everything wrong with my body. I laugh when I read about how you feel about your legs, but sister, your legs look just fine!! I can't stand my legs, so I totally get it! I am sure what I am about to ask is in your blog somewhere, but what was your before and current size if you don't mind answering? Take care!

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  13. I see your photos on IG and I always think "She's so cute! And she has such great fashion style and a super cute figure". Thanks for keepin' it real. :)

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  14. I have to say I read your entire blog in one day and you have helped to inspire me to get off my butt and get moving. I am starting where you did and it definitely helps to know it can be done without surgery.

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