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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

That one pic that makes you go....OMG

So this weekend, Liv lost her darn iPod touch, so I spent an hour and a half, searching high and low, for it.  As the search went on, I found this pic.

This pic was an eye opener.  I am going to be real honest with you, I had NO idea, I was that big.  This pic was taken on my 19th birthday.  I was in a very abusive marriage and this is proof, that I used food to comfort myself.  Food didn't tell me I was f*cking fat and ugly or "embarrassing" to be around.  BUT...it did make me unhealthy.  I won't say being overweight made me unhappy and miserable, it didn't.  Even though I was in an abusive relationship, I still got plenty of love from my family.  I was still a funny, loving and loyal person. 
At this point in my life, I really didn't have any friends left, I isolated myself from them.  I was so ashamed of the life I was living.  And by that I mean, the marriage I was in, not my weight.  Plus, I had run into a few "friends" from high school at college and they said some pretty harsh things, thinking I couldn't hear them.  Well I did, and it just made me eat more.  Today when I am down, I workout.  So funny how that has changed.  Exercise makes me feel better, physically AND mentally.  I have said this before, but it is the best anti-depressant out there!! AND...it's FREE!!!  Another thing I notice, when I look at this pic, is how far my thighs have come.  From this point on, I am no longer going to bitch about my saggy skinned thighs, that have cellulite!  NOPE, they are OK, just the way they are.  That saggy skin came from a lot of blood, sweat and tears.  Same with my stretch marks, I am embracing them.  Self bullying is an awful thing.  What we don't realize is that it keeps us, from achieving our goals.  When you tell yourself over and over, how much you hate this or hate that, about yourself, you start to think you can't "improve" them.  BUT...you can!  You just have to think positive and focus only on the "likes".  When you do this, you start to see some pretty amazing things.  Like I see pretty blue eyes, some pretty nice shoulders, my height and my thin hands.  When I look at my thighs, I may not see all the definition I have, but I FEEL it.  I feel my hard work, paying off.  So remember, just because you can't "see" it, it is happening.  Like when you get on the scale and it doesn't move for months, but you are down a clothes size or two, this is what you need to focus on. 

This next picture, is very blurry and I am sorry for that.  BUT...it is a defining picture for me.  In this pic, I don't fit on the chair.  But 22 years later, I do.  See I have this kitchen table and chairs in my house. And the reason I can, is because I NEVER gave up on myself.  I did doubt myself, too many times to count, but I never gave up.  I have made  it work.  I pack my breakfast and lunch every day, along with healthy snacks and I workout 5-6 days a week.   I don't drink shakes, take supplements or pop "magic" pills.  I also don't spend hours, working out.  I spend a max of 35 minutes working out.  AND...I do my workouts in my bedroom on a tiny TV from the 90's!  And let's not forget I do this after working a full day, with 2 kids at home.  So quit making excuses.  If I can workout with my kids, yelling at each other, running right in front of me, so can you.  My kids are 6 3/4 and 8, they are BEYOND ACTIVE, but I still make it work. 




There have been days when I thought I should stop my blog and IG.  I think sometimes, when followers, "unfollow" me, that I am just annoying.  For that I am sorry.  But then I see a pic like this, a pic that is PROOF, that significant weight loss is possible and it's possible without a fad diet or gym membership.  It is also possible to do it at any age.    I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason.  I know I was heavy, for a reason.  I know I found this pic, for a reason.  I think it will give someone that is struggling, hope and motivation.  They will see me at 250++ and then me at 155, and go OK, "If she can do it, I can do it".  I also hope people see my after pics and go, "OK, you don't have to weigh 120 pounds to be fit". 
 
Remember, focus on what you like, it will one day be something you love, about yourself.  Stop self-bullying, it is just sabotaging your success. It's like the little engine that could, keep telling yourself, "I think I can, I think I can"....and you will.
 
                                                                  XO,
                                                                  Lori

27 comments:

  1. I'm the same way about losing someone. I always take it so personally. I am trying to remind myself that they may just not be ready to begin their journey. It's painful being bigger, feeling hopeless, and seeing others reach their goals. I get it, but sometimes it just hurts.

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  2. That's a great reminder of where you started, especially from a new follower like me who's just seen your current gorgeous pictures.

    I have been tempted to bring in a picture of the old 'me' to show the people at work who tease me on my way to my workouts that I 'don't need to' or that I'm going to 'waste away.' They have no reference point of where I started anymore, they've only known the current me, not the 200lb me of before.
    But then I say, why shatter the facade...and I've kept the secret with a grin on my face and my saggy thighs under my shorts.

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  3. Don't ever feel like you need to apologize! I think you have come such a long way both physically and mentally and it shows. You can see your unhappiness in that second picture and it is blantantly obvious in any recent picture of you how truly happy you now are. Loving your body with all it's flaws is so hard and something I still struggle with, but it is just another step in the process, right?

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  4. You are such an inspiration to me I was on the verge of trying the hcg diet even though I know it's not the way to go, but I see you and motivates me to keep going the healthy way !!!! Thanks

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    1. You are a no comment blogger, doll, so I have to comment here. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!!! Don't you dare do that diet!! I'll come and get you, if you do! :) Just be healthy about your choices and eat everything in moderation. Thank you again, for commenting! xoxo

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  5. You are amazing every day! You were amazing 19 years ago, too! Remember that Lori! We read/follow for a reason! Thank you for being you!

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    1. You are so sweet, thank you!!! You are a no comment blogger so I had to comment here. Thank you for stopping by to say such sweet words, means the world to me! xoxo

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  6. So inspiring, and so needed this today. You are amazing and I'm so proud of you:)

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  7. You are not annoying at all. You inspire me, thanks for the motivation.

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  8. Thank you for this, the photos and the pep talk. I needed this today. Cathy

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  9. I hope you found the iPod ;)

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  10. You are not annoying!! You are so funny and so real. I want to be like you when I grow up...(I am the same age, lol) I check your blog every day for inspiration :)

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  11. Lmao! My kids are 6 and 3/4 ;) Bet they make you say that :)

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  12. I love everything you post, you motivate people, you motivate me!! Not just by putting your before and after pictures out there but by talking about your experience and your feelings. I thank you for that. love you wonderful friend!!

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  13. As Alicia wrote above i too love all you write.
    You are such a motivation.
    I would appreciate if you would do a guest blog on mine.
    Xoxo
    Z

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  14. You are a great source of inspiration for me! I follow many fitness/inspirational blog ladies but I was wondering if you had some that were more in the 40's age range? I love the younger ladies that I follow but they haven't reached some of the age related dilemmas that the 40's bring.

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  15. What a great reminder to not give up on yourself! I'm going through that right now, and with the help of my amazing husband, and friends like you, I will not give up on myself!
    Have a great weekend Lori!

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  16. You are such an inspiration Lori. Thank you for always being honest. I've never once found you to be annoying. Keep up the amazing work...you're a beautiful person inside and out.

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  17. Lori! I love this post, you are so real and honest and your motivational words always make me feel better about myself. Also, and this is funny, I totally had that same sweater when I was around the same age!!!! :)

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  18. I think most woman go through what you are, but it's how we deal with it that makes us all different! I lost a tremendous amount of weight and then was left with horrible loose skin which didn't make me feel any prettier. I tried this skin tightening solution at home and it really helped! Anyway, keep up the good work :)

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